"Do you eat under stress?" The headline of First, the supermarket magazine read.

"You'll drop 7 - 9 lbs every week," the tagline promised.

I snatched it up and added it to my groceries on the black conveyor belt.

"Good News: These genius snacks calm nerves, end hunger and quell cravings..."

Now that sounds like a magic bullet for me! I thought as I pictured a more svelt version of moi in sexy swimsuits sailing the Florida waters with a dream boat of a partner.